went to work at SAF Armour Camp.
had training in the morning.
it rained for a while so we went up to the sports hall to play games.
funn. glad i din have to do the punishment.. haha.
denn monfort came for friendlys.
left at like 12.44.
was damn late la. n hadta rush!!!
so i ran like from the bent all the way to the bus stop cos i saw 100!
n yay!! i manage to board the bus!! hee.
met eugenia n hc at bishann.
den ken boarded our train at somerset.
went to boon lay.
hahaha. hc claimed he like the place cos it was full of cemetries.
hahaha. and its sooo deserted he cud do anythin ehh??
ok... so the place wasnt as bad as i thought..
i was damn scared it wud be like summ wulu disgusting run-down place. hehe..
n den i saw dis tank at the entrance and i was like "i like this place!"
haha. n den i was complaining that i need to go to the toilet NOW noW noW! teehees.
okok. so blah blah blahh. we hadta like walk arnd, hold the plates while they fill it up with food.
the food is soo disgusting ok. n dey ran out of almost evrythinn.
their planning was screwed. =x
ooooooook! i lazy to say evrythin la! haha.
at the end evryone gt kinda sian i guess n started to eat all the food. hehh.
den went home. with themm.
long ridee. hais.. gt home at like 1130 i tinkk.
realised sum stuff. sumone cud really start a BTHC man.
blahh. overall it was fun la. i liked it. hehh.
n pls donot misunderstand us. thankew. bye.

yepps! went out with julian's fc and him fer lunchh.
he is cute.
he is nice.
took fotos with himm. yeppiee.
and he talked to me... =D
he was like " i didnt manage to talk to you.. wads ur name?"
"still schooling?? wher?"
"ok. all the best."

teehees! *grins*
i still love qiyuwu la.... hahhs.

haf i changed?

fuck you and evryone else.
kill me.

dis sucks.
i hate it.
arghhh!

i wanna be useful.
and important.
to someone.
anyone.
i wanna haf someone to talk to.
and to love me.
like i love them.

i wanna haf at least one i could turn to.
and whenever i need that person.
he/she will be dere.
always dere.
i dont wanna just grieve.
and bottle evrything up.
i wanna move on in life.
i wanna find the new side of me.
no one ever knew.
can i start life anew?
brainwash evrybody's memories of me.

im tired of being all alone.
alone.
alone..
alone...

haiix... what's happening??

merry
christmas!!!!!
yepp. enjoy today with ur loved ones and all!!
hees. take caree! and smileee!! =)

late at night when all was sleeping.
i stay up and think of you.
and i wished upon a star...
that somewher you were thinking of me too.

yepp! i came back from chalett.
most fav part of it all.... time spent at the beach. hees.
1st day:
xb,nigel,hc,yujun,jonathan,ken and rar plus her classmates stayed over.
was kind of fun la.
i dunno! haha. had pillow fight.
denn we went to the beach late late at nightt.
and came backk. bought like a tub of ice-cream to share.
kekes. but it was like... nvm. shall nt mention.. yepp!
me and the guys cept xb dinn wanna sleep..
denn i wanted to go walk walk alonee.
but they tagged along. so we went to the tables downstairs and talked..
for like 2 hrs?? 5-7am. haha!
but nigel stayed der for like 10 min and den go up le. ahemm.
7 plus went up denn they all go orhh. left me and ken. bleahh.
i was practically boreding larr. so we were like observing themm sleepingg. hehh.
took some fotos. now in nigel's blog. yepp yepp! damn farniee lorr. haha.
i din sleep...
2nd day:
super-pms-day.
i was mood-swinging like madd i tell you..
went to xb hse to collect sum stuffs in the afternoon.
den when i came back. i was suddenly so pek chek. dunno whyy. bahhs-
got really moody and disgustingg. i went for a short walk.
came backk. was vehh lonely and siann la. dadadumms.
fast forward till the time at the beachh.
haha.sat alone. den yujun came over. n the rest.
so we talked. n talked. den they hadta go off. sobbs*
later xb chase me away la. aikks. nvmm.
gt back to the chalet n dazed awayy. was damn sianded...
later went to the beach.
spent like 2 hrs der. haha.
was talkingg. n denn we like laid on the rocks. and watch the sky. played connect-the-dots. haha. yes.. i came up with stupid stuffs as usual. teehees. vehh stupid la. i tink the lack of sleep made me so blur and stupid n senseless. hehhs. but anywayy...
yarr. tink we stayed der for a few hrs.
den i fell asleep.
wahahhas. u noe the feeling u get sometimes when you sleep??
that you suddenly fall down? hahha.
i had that la. den jerked. ahaha. cos its like kinda freaky when u close ur eyes n den when u open it all u see is the sky. u feel like you're gonna falling off. yeahh.
blah blah blahh. got back. they slept.
i didnt feel like it. so jus laid der.
and yes. wait.
but for? NOTHING. fuckyou.
heckk-
3rd day:
complete sianism.
woke up. and left lor.
sobbs. it's over??
i swear i love beaches and nights and stayovers.
xD

hurrayy! our new coach rawkks.
ok. he's muchh better den coachh.
yepp! and im one of the lousiest in the team larr.
bleahhs. nvmm...
later had to rush home and went off to orchard to meet ariel n jon n blahh..
went for rollarblading lessons againn.
yes. im starting to love the sport againn.
anybody wanna go east coast to bladee? *grinns*

btw. i wun be home till thursday i guess.
friday is xmas eve alreadyy! =x urhh...
sort of cant wait lehh. lol.. i'll see ya guys denn.. tata.

its amazingg how quiet my phone is.
like it's been a month or so. nonono. less dan dat.
probably 2 and a half weeks...
and i only used say... 200 sms??
yeahhh.... compared to my usual over limit of 1000.
madd. im getting almost life-less...

played tennis in the morning at about 10-11.
i am super inconsistent.
and super predictable.
den went shopping againns.
hrmm... cos my cousin followed.
and she had blading lessons at like. hyatt hotel. carpak??
hahas. so we had to go send her deree.
ended up staying der forever..
but its fun larr. like i never blade for very very long le.
and im lousy cann.. but anywayss. im going again on mondayy :)
after my training and all dat..
jus wondering if it'd be weird if i wear my uniform derr. ahahs.
loveme.byes!

it's weirdd...
hmmmm.... nvm.. dun wanna tink too much. :)
went out early dis morning.. like arnd 10 plus.
went to orchard... shopped alot..
my mother bought like so much stuff. in 1 min she can spend like a thousand...
freakyy... she bought damn alot of stuffs larr.
vacumm, juicer, blender, griller, 8 mugs at 9.90 each,
600 in all.
DKNY watch ($200++), 2 baby-g watches($300++), 2 adidas watches($200) 7 fila bags, 3 fila shirts, 2 giordano jeans ($69)
total: $1,300
madness!!! den i bought for myself a harvey dunno wad shirt thats *ahemm* bROWN! lol
and a nice little fila bagg.. hehess..
i regret buying my water bottle from sigg larr... the fila bottle is like so nice and its only $7.
anyway... i tried on caps/hats todayy. mummy says i look nice in themm.
yayy!! i wanna get one!! hehe... probably cos it hides my pimples. =p ahaha.
get me a hat!!!!!!
hehh. okay.. so i still gotta go look for pressies for them.
i kinda giving up larr. cant be bothered.. =x
but i have to get one for clarie dearr.
ohh!! and i tried on this square earrings in wisma, isetan.
its damn nice larr! but i resisted the temptation to buy themm. lol...

anywayy!!!! yesterday clara came over.
den we went to the gymm.
got soo many pple larr.
i lifted weights... 40 times on each armm. 2kg.
now my arm hurts thankeww. -.-
den i did 30 sit ups.
and i was slacking thru-out. kekes...
oh yaaa!! and 4 min of the climbing thingg.
and 10 min of treadmill i tink? i haf no idea. haha.


ive been thinking of hw freaking it is to haf kids.
im like oreadyy having probs jus shopping for myself.
its like never-ending..
imagine your kids taking evry cent outta you. lol.
and like... hw r u gonna discipline them from youngg??
so tat they wont be spoilt and blah blah blahh..
den wad if they're naughty and all thatt?? hrmmm....
oh.. and its proven that wad parents really pass dwn stuffs to us mann.
my mother had worse complexion then me when she was my age. she pass to me larr!
dun tell me im gonna be as fat as her? urhh!!!!!!!!!!! since both my parents fat fat de.. oh no!!!!!
hahahahha! im seriously getting weird-er... >.<
iloveyou!

hahah... is it my fault or is it yours or is it no one's?
hahahahh.. so i did as you said.
i tried... but it still ends up the same...
the -same-!!!!!!!! and i actually thought things would turn out better.
was i wrong? am i expecting too much againn?
i think too muchh... Right??
rightt. i know that... haixx...
haha... but at least i did what i promise.
i did try to help "save" our relationship.
i did manage to not hurt myself.
and yes... hoorayy!! haha. nonsense larx.
just one mistake.. this sucks.
no actually it's ok. cos i tink im kinda losing it.
i've only gotta make a choice.
i've gotta ask myself againn.
and i need to learnn.
heyy! and ive mastered the skill of -not-caring-so-much-.
it helps.. (=
just waitingg....

and i changed my skinn...
the little boy isnt cute..
dunno lar.. i just got bored yesterday and decided to change for funn. teehees.
ive suddenly got an idea wad to give themm.
i thot of caps... but nahh.. some wont like it lar.
so i need to get down to ikea and get some cheap stuff.
im still brokee! booo... shoud i just eat into my money?? hrmm...
and i havent got his present yett. shiteex.
to think xmas is actually next week.. =x
got chalet den too... im staying over.
bcos i dun wanna go homee.
and i wanna go to the beachh.
and i wanna stay up late late at night so i can msg him.. hopefully.
i just wanna get out of my boring life.
change it. have fun. and be happy! :)
and yes. yingxuan, eugenia better go.

listening to stefanie sunn.
i like wo ye hen xiang ta. (i miss him alot too.)
hahaha!! it's nicee.. goes with my mood and thots. lol.
but i kinda dun get the whole song.
i miss him too. we are all the same.
we found wings when we were by his side...
but that moment's him.
found the wings to fly bcos of you.
ok. blahh blahh blahh.
so its about dis two girls liking him isit??
but the guy likes the other girl.
aikks? wadever. lol... i jus love the song larr. *grinss*
and the background music!!! the guitarr!
i wanna learn how to play thatt!!! ahahas.
pstt... by the wayy. i still suck at guitarr.
im not musically talented for nutss. haha.
ohh!! and i tink i dreamt of jay chou last night again...
hahahahahha.

i haf no idea why im blogging.
and im like listening to clay aiken's xmas carols...
urhhh... and im playing solitaire.
ahahas....
i haf no activities planned todayy!!!
except for tuition at 130. grrr...
im bored bored boredd!
my head's aching like maddd... arghh.
and my eyes are soo freakingg itchyy!
and i keep tearingg...
when i start rubbing, i cant stop la!! boo.
wads wrong with myy eyees!!
tink im going gym laterr.
but maybe not...
dun like to go alone larr... =(
my hw still not done..
ok.. i dun wanna start stressing myself up againn.
lalala. i need some entertainment.
i need to go earn money oso la.
fucking broke.
dunno wher all my money fly to canns.
like suddenly everything's gone.
and when i calculated wad i spent on...
its like im left with only half the sum im suppose to haff...
who stole my money!!

Happy
BiRhtdAy
nigeL!!
ok.. im thotful enuff to do that.. thank me. =)
and its in ur fav colour.. pink! thank me once again. =)

hrmmm...
why am i so anti?
why do i always keep things to myself?
why do i jus swing whenever i want?
why does things haf to bother me so much?
why why why?
bleahhhs-
wadeva larr. boo.
sorry to the pple around me...

budden... Im finE!! =) yepp!

i just realised my room looks kinda... i meann damnn cosy when the blinds are downn..
*GRINS*
hehehe...


im going outt later!! night-shopping.. wheets!
but im irritated.. dunno what pressies to get lehh...
hrmmm....

whatever i do, it doesnt mean anything to you.
haha. okayy. im not gonna do anything le lars.
yes. i give up.
and im not gonna wish for anything from you.
the higher my hopes are, the bigger the disappointment ehs?
ok. i tink i got that from someone's blog.. lol.
yeahh yeahh...
it's great to just let things be... =)

oOo... i dreamt of jay chou last night =x
hahaha... uhh ohh... i love him la! hehhs-
ohh. and i dunno why... cant sleep these days.
am i suffering from insomnia??
hehes.. really la. i keep tossing and turning only..
damn xing ku lor. u wanna try??
im tired but i cant sleep.. bleahh-

I NEED TO SHOP!

Hopelessly Devoted To You lyrics

Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know there's
Just no getting over you
You know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see there's nothing else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's no where to hide
Since you pushed my heart aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying fool forget him
My heart is saying don't let go
Hold on to the end that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's no where to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

NO...

you dun go checking the phone all the time waiting for a msg from me.
i do.

you dun lay on the unable to sleep bcos of me.
i do.

you dun thinkk of me soo much you feel like dying
i do.

you dun want me so badly and wish i were by your side all the time.
i do.

you dun receive a msg and on pressing the "view" button, hopelessly wish the msg was from me.
i do.


i dun like it whenever u say "msg u later"
cos it hurts to feel neglected...
i love you..
i trust you.
i hope hope hope you do too...
and plss. tell me what you feel next time...
i dun wanna be the only person who goes picking on all the things i dun like.

Singapore IdoL
whee... congrats taufik! loll.
i wore dis WHITE top(i support taufik)
with a PINK flower (i suppoRt sly)
and WHITE earrings (i support taufik)
but PINK hairband ( i support sly)
den i had plasters pasted on my face to form letter "T" (I support taufik)
and i was carrying a "rock on SLY" poster (i support sly)
hahahha... and i was "taufik, taufik!!!" and "sly sly sly!!!" (i support both la!)
yayness...
met sum new fwenns der. enjoyed myselff. cept fer sum bitches.

when u go to a concert, u do not sit der and stare.
helloo?? u didnt get the tics jus to watch the show der okays.
u might as well just go home and watch ritee?
pleasee la... stand up, shout, scream and enjoy urself mahh...
bitches.
gurmit says "spore stand up and enjoy urself!!!"
"the crowd is jus crazee laa!!!"
"go mad, haf fun, by all means go ahead.."
"its time to PARTY!"
they got me really madd. i was like fumingg.
fuck you lar..

hrmmm... im sad.
u like just throwing me aside now.
nothing's changed. =(