went escape with karmun eugenia and fionana today! =D waited for them in the morning and called nana who woke up late and made us wait for her at the mrt watching those empty trains passing by and mun mun listening to her favourite indian lady making the announcement with that weird BOOM at the end of this word that i... dont know what it means. haha. (: den we got touchy (okay. i mean I) at the gong song. =x its jut STONABLE. haha. den its like you stone at the mrt track. and there's this signboard in front of you that reads "value life. act responsibly" so.... fast forward till escape. it was scorching HOT today okay. i'm burnt now. its just red lah not pain. BUT NO WORRIES cos i ATE sunblock. haha. yes ATE. my mumm made me eat some capsule that's suppose to errr. sunblock? whatever. haha. i sat like 6 rides i think. almost everything wasnt operating. like pepsi revolution, invertor. i dont know. everything dangerous. so everything is like play safe now i dont know why. dont care. i got food stuck in my tummy and it STILL didnt wanna come out with the help of all the tipsy rides. so GROSS lah. the whole day i just felt like vomitting but nothing comes out. GAHH. and escape is super pathetic i dont know how it's gonna survive. sheesh. i'm not going back there. even with the $6 offer.

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

okay now now. to make things clear and simple. DO AS I SAY. if you want your xmas present from brenda toh. tag "I WANT MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!" terms and conditions apply though. (:

i went to do my hair today! the woman straighten until friggin pain lah. she was like pulling my hair out by its strands. and i had to like hide my pain. lol. it's weird. you know i have lots of white hair. but my white hair are only white at its ends. boogahh. weird.

you know what! 'm hungry now. like hungry hungry. but i've to lose my fatty fats lah. so yes. 'm gonna get back to my past man. bleah!

went vivo today. but i didnt manage to buy anything. i saw a nice pair of shoe but they didnt have my size so in the end my cousin got it. danm sad. i wanna shop real bad. for my shirt dress thing and thights. i wannn!! but i have NO money. so im pathetic. better settle everyone's xmas present first. if you want one, please tag my tagboard. haha. (:

i tried packing up my room but it just got messier. cos i dont know what i can throw and what i cant. pek chek lah! tmr i shall pack my drawers. and clothes. yay. you know i went to jog just now. after i dont know how long. lol. i only ran two rounds. and my legs are hurting already. wups=x hee. tmr im gonna do my hair with mummy. wednesday im going out with them to escape. thurs i dont know. friday i dont know. haha. next week's gonna be packed i think. i might get a job. bu zhi dao!!

i feel like an ambassador for the yellow ribbon project already. im totally totally on their side now. and its only cos of today's nice lil visit to the prison. (x i like i like!!
heh.

FORGIVENESS.
what i saw today wasnt what was usually potrayed about the prisoners on tv. something more real. i saw sorrow in their souls, i felt sad for them. for just a wrong step could lead to a whole wrong never ending journey that brought them to where they were now. a small mistake can bring about big returns. i saw souls trapped in bodies of tattoos. unerasable tattoos. that will always remind them of their past. that hurt them. these people were not only just trapped in enclosed areas, they were trapped in their mistakes and all they seek for is your forgivesness. i guess everyone needs a second chance and with our support and acceptance, we could make their lives change for the better.

the prisoners are actually trained to work and they're like talented bunch of pple lah. their voice is like tonnes of times better than singapore idol? haha. mesmerising. really. i think their tattoos are what really makes them you know.... bad. so today. i swore. i'd never get myself a tattoo. (x and i'll make sure i'll not make mistakes. and yes, treasure everyone around me cos not everyone is given that sort of blessing. =D

alrights. i just submitted my PAE form in. i dont know whether i made the right choices but i dont care already lah. we'll just see where i end up at. and most probably i think its TJ or AJ. i dont know! here goes.
v sci
v arts
n sci
t sci
a sci
sa sci
ny sci
m sci
c sci
a arts
ny arts
m arts

quite weird cos this time i didnt have mummy to help me choose unlike in pri6, mummy made all the decision for me. i'm a big girl now and ive gotta make my own decisions. yes yes. RIGHT. haha. i may end up at the wrong place. whatever.

YESTERDAY! i got home really late thats why im stuck at home today bcos im somewhat "grounded". but i still have to go out for buffet dinner at that dong dong dong place. haha. 'm gonna get uber fat lah. what to do. ahhh! okay. so you see. yesterday! i went out for like back to back movies. marathon. uh huh. nope. lets start from prom day. prom! went to jean yip to have our make over. our very very expensive make over that cost us a hundred and five dollars. had on fake eyelashes. and all. this is what we became.














and den! we set off to xiang's hse to change and all. we were like late. we thought we were very late. but we werent. so yayy! haha. manda's very very nice daddy sent us to school and we saw pple at foyer. PHEWW! haha. took pictures here there everywhere and prom started. so i shouldnt have thought that our prom would be a blast. and i expected so much out of it. spent like 300 bucks on this night to let it fall way below my expectations. unglam. bad results. boring. so little pple danced. i dont know why. high but not high. very very saddd! argh. after prom. xb came in a cab to pick us up to chalet. i think aloha is so much better than costa sands lah. yes. so when we got off the cab we got weird stares. cos we looked WEIRD lah duhh. damn awkward okays! like wrong place. haha. den we ran to the room to get ourselves changed out. but we didnt. lol. we couldnt bear to take off that oh so espensive make up lah. and i just wanted to enjoy a bit more of for once i look okay feeling. heh. so we took like tonnes of pictures like this














and just sat around till we finally got convinced to change out. my hair had like a freaking difficult time. chow helped me entangle it at least. though it hurt. haha. but thanks. (x you shall see.

BEFORE AFTER
















convinced now?




so we changed and set off to the beach. sister called me and we chatted. and chow and bestie talked to me and nigel was complaining about all his mosquito bites and refused to sit but finally did in the end. lol. den came along benjamin thats always so so so crazy! gahhs. in the end. we left them alone and i was cheated that we were gg to the other side of the beach but ended up in the chalet. talked some more den they came back and guess what. i fell asleep. which is damn retarded. eeeks. when i woke up it was like 7. couldnt find her till evan told me she was outside. and apparently. in pain. apologies to yw if i offended her. =x aha. after that we were suppose to go out but chow had band stuffs on at TJ so we decided to go home sleep first den meet later. met at 3pm PS, watch casino royale. thanks to nigel and ken that we got $2 off out tickets (: whee. so the show was not bad. im not an action pack movie lover so yes... haha. but its kinda sick that so many pple died. for no reasons. they can just kill like i dunno what lah. and den and den! came the torture chamber and yw got so high she started whacking me like crazy it seemed like she got turned on. (basically it was the part where bond was getting whacked at his..... you know) lol. okay joking. she just found it funny. haha. sad sad. anw. it ended like all 007 movies. -.- OKAY! den baba had an extra free movie pass to happy feet so i joined him. and his family. which was kind of weird. yah. haha. i think his sister is cute. =D they are so similar lah. oh man. good for them (x happy feet was weird. cos it was like a cartoon musical with bad music. haha. but it was cute also. just that the adult penguins were ugly. they should make them cuter lah. but i guess they wanted it to be more real den cartoony so den...... yes yes. it was funny at a part with all the amingos. whee(: after happy feet this gay wanted to go esplanade so we went and thus i got home late. so mummy was angry and im grounded. SOMEHOW. only for today i think. (: hee.

brenda's COMFORTABLE to be with!
agree agree? =D

it's been a high-low week. i've been high and low and everything lah. it's all o's and YOUR fault. you see you see. i havent been FREE since o's. i havent had my proper sleep and i havent had a proper rest and like you know slack at the sofa and watch my gong. NO TIME. not even the time to blog about nonsense. but that's cos i'm lazy. aha.
there's still my notes and worksheets and all the draft nonsense doodlyy paper piled up at that corner. and i have shit nuts idea of what to do with my textbooks and files and everything else. so wasted to throw away lah. alrights. i shall MAKE myself tidy up my room one day. den it'll be empty and nice! that day will come!! (x before xmas. yes yes.

right now. im DEPRESSED. okay. i realise prom is a waste of money. just for one night of glam. gahh! but it's a once in a lifetime experience! all for the nice memories! (x get back to being depressed. i have NO MORE money to shop for myself. yes. damn sad lah! i only have money to be nice and buy presents for all my nice nice friends. which will take up quite a sum. or everything that i have saved up. practically. very sad very sad. but nvm. its the season of giving. and its a joy to give. and of course to receive as well. :D i dont lie. heh. im gonna make each and everyone of you smile. thats if i dont get lazy again. heh. ddfskdngrwhgbejgknisgf¬!

i need the money to shop.
kickboxing!
dance!
shop again!
and save up.

and btw. i'm school-less.
not here not there. )x
SAVE ME!

okay. wups! i'm having mood swings.
the feeling of wanting to be left alone.
i feel so here there everywhere now.
dunno why.
i should just get to studying lah.
jealousy is the world's greatest devil.
it destroys us.
and it kills.

i'm here to blog and somehow get into some english mood so that on the 10th, (is it even 10th) ah whatever. NEXT WEDNESDAY. i will write my compo well and ace my english paper. =D

let's see. ong and leong the lawyers said today.
woman are mulit-taskers.
oh no. den why am i not one? maybe im not a woman. haha. true enough. half male. that's why we enjoy each other's company and not get bored on the phone. quite amazing. haha.

i realised somthing today. that i'm super random. and its because everything to me is so surface and because i dont go into depth. so im random. like i will say one thing. and den say the other thing. just like how my blog is. its always jumping from one topic to another. and i never really got INTO one whole topic before. irritating. i dont remember myself like that when i was in sec1 and 2. i will crap so uber much about some dumb thing. maybe i should get some of that back to the now me. den again. that was disgusting. so i should just let it past and not care about it cos i'll just make myself remember some stuff again. but IMPROVE. uh huhhhh.

FRIENDS. so wonderful. haha. do you know how dreadful dependency is. its like a habit. a routine. repertoire of life. and one day it disappears. hard to adapt. but thats life huh. its got to be a skill. to learn to really be strong inside and stand tall, not caring about anything at all. but face it. if you have that pumping machine inside. you just can't help yourself but to feel unnecessay emotions. lets see. its like you have hands. and one day the hands are gone. rather. say you are used to leaning on this pillar. and one day the pillar's gone. you know what. it should be like this. learn to not expect too much. better still! learn to expect the worse. so whether or not you get it the way you want it to be. its still better than that worse. heh. (: we should all just not get dependent on each other. but im dependent on yingwah manda xiang er and eugenia and karmun and fiona already. one day if you were to disappear. i'd die. and i'd trust you wouldnt BEAR to see me in pain. RIGHT! heh.

TRUST! the key to any relationship. the key. just don't lose it.
DO I HAVE IT?
lol.
come on.
TRUST ME! =D

and one day.
you'll disappear off my life.
that day will come.